but before i was a mom...before i was a wife...i was a birthmom. it's strange still to me seeing it even as i type it. it's not something i tell many people. besides family and close friends that were there through it all i've only told a handful of people really, and starting a blog about it is the last thing i thought i'd do. but i have a friend who seems to put it all out there. she inspires me to be stronger and brave. a while back on fb she posted the song brave ...by sara bareilles and it pretty much hits the nail on the head.
You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And since your history of silence
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
i've never really been the sentimental sappy i love you type of person so this is saying alot...amanda...that would be you. :) she recently started her own adoption/birthmom blog so i thought sure...why not? so here i am. letting my words fall out and attempting to be this thing i hear so often in the adoption world (BRAVE)
Definition of brave (adj)
Bing Dictionary
- having or showing courage: having or showing courage, especially when facing danger, difficulty, or pain
- Native N American warrior: a Native North American warrior
- brave people: those people who are courageous
this is something that i have not been so familiar with. yes, i am a birthmom. yes it was brave. a brave decision...but i don't feel so brave. i feel so small and insignificant when it comes to being a birthmom. when i do decide to tell someone on rare occasion i shrink away waiting for the reaction. you gave your child away? how could you do that? that must have been so hard...how do you answer those questions...umm, ya. so i don't talk about it. i never had "group" like so many birthmoms seemed to have had the opportunity to go to. i didn't feel like i had much support. i just always kept in my thoughts and feelings. i did have a counselor but i absolutely could not stand the man. i had no one to confide in or talk to. i'd just spend hours in my room thinking to myself. or go wander walmart alone. i still very often times feel alone. but again, thanks to amanda (which i didn't ask for permission to use her name but i'm assuming she doesn't mind since she has started her own blog) i don't feel so alone anymore.
